Couple bring into their relationship their deeply ingrained values and beliefs about self and self- in- relationship. Spouses who mutually uphold positive beliefs about self and others perhaps enjoy better marital relationship compared to those who hold on to negative beliefs. Among couples who are negative, there can be a significant erosion of some of those the interpersonal dynamic such as interpersonal sensitivity, empathy, equality, mutuality and respect for one another which fosters spousal relationship.
If you’re experiencing marital difficulties, then you and your partner may want to consider marriage counselling as a way to gain understanding on your issues and develop new perspective and skills needed to improve the quality of your marriage, overcome your relationship issue and/or save your marriage.
How can marriage counseling help?
Marriage counsellors have special training in marriage and family therapy. These counsellors /therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists/counsellors, but with a specific focus on couple’s relationship. They provide the couple a safe and supportive environment to share their concerns and facilitate understanding and positive change.
Marriage counselling can help them:
- Communicate about feelings without engaging in blame game.
- Listens to and understands the other partner’s perspective.
- Share thoughts and feelings in a manner that promotes intimacy.
- Develop an attitude of acceptance toward each other, forgiveness toward shortcomings, and tolerance toward unique personality and behavior traits.
- Express the underlying primary emotions that promote understanding.
- Help each spouse experience a secure base in the therapist and facilitate a relationship that is reparative through the individual therapy.
- The therapist explores the each spouse’s unconscious phantasies as they arise in relation to the therapist, as s/he works through the transference in the individual therapy.
Listed below are some of the benefits and other important information about marriage/relationship counseling and how it can help:
“You need to “earn” your way out of a marriage” says Dr. Phil McGraw. “Don’t consider divorce,” says Dr. Phil, “Until you’ve investigated every potential avenue of rehabilitation. Unless you can look yourself in the mirror and know that you’ve tried everything there is, then you’re not ready to be discussing divorce.” Couples who have never attempted to resolve their issues seeking professional counselling are perhaps throwing their marriage away.
Seek help early. According to Dr. Gottman, the average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. Almost 50% marriage fails in the first seven years. Marriage counsellors and therapists agree that early help can help couple save their marriages.